Mama K (CD5K), Training (read: Practicing), Where I'm at now...

“You Don’t Plan for Failure.”

insane courageSaid a fellow classmate at CrossFit yesterday morning as I was anxiously awaiting my turn for the last back squat.  I stood staring at her for a moment, trying to process what that meant for the next few minutes and next few ..well, rest of my life. I always seem to get stuck thinking about the “what if I fail” (meaning: what if I don’t meet my own expectations?) that I never even thought about not planning for it.   I was eyeballing the extra 20 pounds another mate put on the bar and I said “I don’t know about that.”  Denise smiled a big sweaty grin at me and I knew I had to at least try.  Stepping up to the bar I said “What do I do if I get stuck? Just let it roll off my back onto the floor?” I was desperately nervous about this, and I didn’t even hear their answer.  I just heard Denise’s voice resonating in my head “You don’t plan for failure.”  Waiting for me, silently suspended in the rack, the bar and the weights looked ominous.  I blocked out all the noise in my head. Don’t think, just do. I put my shoulders underneath the bar and I lifted the 145 pounds onto my back for one final squat.  Down…okay, this is really heavy, but not impossible…just don’t stop here….uuuu…uuuuuu…uuuuup.  It was done. I did it. I achieved a new PR.

Fast forward to tonight’s hellacious run.  I can’t even begin to describe how bad it felt, how my morale was low to begin with after anticipating the event all day.  I knew how hot it was going to be and I was tired from the workday and dinner making, and dancing around all of the toy cars and airplanes sprinkled on the floor.alice and mad hatter I would imagine that it went so poorly because of a variety of reasons. I can say that I’ve eaten poorly the past few days, I haven’t been drinking enough water, not sleeping good enough or long enough, I sat too long during the day today, the heat, the humidity, the fact that I didn’t stretch out at all today or yesterday or any other day, the other fact that I didn’t warm up either because I was quickly losing daylight, and/or the simple fact that I expected failure so that’s what I got. I didn’t meet the expectations I had, but I hadn’t planned to meet them in the first place.  Denise’s words resonated in my head again.  All throughout my trip around town I thought about those 5 little words, “You don’t plan for failure.”  And so I pushed my 2-3 miles into 4 and I told myself that even though it didn’t feel good, it still went well.  I saw the sunset and got to drink up the last few bits of summer air.  When I ran, I ran faster than usual during my last mile. I told myself to enjoy the feeling of being really hot, like insides were cooking hot.  I told myself to remember this so when it’s cold and windy in a month or two I can think about how great it felt to be dripping with sweat in the humid air.  I also told myself that tomorrow is a new day and I will have a better attitude toward running and training.  I will be more accepting of what my body can do…more accepting of everything.   Thank you, Denise. what-would-you-attempt-to-doDo it! Whatever your answer to the question above is – DO IT.  Take Denise’s advice, like I’m trying to do, and don’t plan for the fail. Don’t think, just do.

One Step at a Time,

Mama K

 

4 thoughts on ““You Don’t Plan for Failure.””

  1. I can relate to those runs after those long days and with low morale. On those runs I feel like it’s a victory no matter how it turns out! Well… I feel that way when I can muster a positive thought about it. 🙂 Keep chasing that positive view of things!

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    1. It really is those little victories that build the confidence to say “I can do this!” on race day. I just can’t believe how hard it’s felt this time around. I’m really curious to see how the strength training changes the race day performance (if at all) with a little bit of rest next week. Happy Running!

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