There are two things in this world that make me so hungry my stomach turns inside out – swimming and church.
Yesterday I did both.
Not only did I battle church and swimming hunger, it was the day after an 8 mile run so I felt like my stomach was a wood chipper. Once I hit 8 miles and go beyond that for training, I become insatiable. I crave Mexican food and hoagies. No matter what I ate yesterday, I felt like it was ground up and spit out in a matter of seconds.
I realize that hunger is not a bad thing, but I also realize that it’s time to make a nutritional and dietary change. I am currently 173.7 pounds, which I have been for the last 5 to 6 months. This is weight that I was when I was somewhere in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy with the kids. This is a weight almost 20 pounds over what my body used to be comfortable in when I could a ton of carbs while training. I am stronger now, for sure, but I’m feeling it more when we workout now and not in a good way. My feet feel the greater impact of the weight, my hips and knees feel it too. My breathing gets so heavy and ragged so much faster when running up hills and trying to maintain speeds I was once much more comfortable doing. I can still hit my 9:30 for a mile, maybe mile and a half but there’s no way I can sustain that pace for a 5K now. I’m frustrated by that.
I’m 50/50 about my weight right now. Some days I’m perfectly fine with it because I feel strong and powerful. Some days it really hits me and I go really low about it. Like really low. Those days I endure a lot of negative self talk, which is probably more damaging to my performance than my actual weight gain. But here’s the thing. I don’t have extra money to buy a whole new wardrobe and my pants that were once forgiving are no longer. If you could see the dance I have to do to get some of those bad boys up over this ass, you would be entertained for an entire afternoon. I’m reasonable though. As I approach my 40’s I realize that it’s HIGHLY likely that I will NOT be able to achieve my 30 year old weight and body. I am okay with that. This body carried 3 beautiful children, carried me through a marathon and 5 half marathons, and can deadlift over 200 pounds now. Those things make me feel so badass, which is definitely more of a goal than being skinny. I am looking to compromise my old weight and my new weight and lose about 10 pounds over the course of the next 6 months.
This is NOT a new year’s resolution. I’ve been thinking about this since eating a good amount of Halloween candy, but knew that I needed to give myself permission to enjoy the holidays with my family.
The good news is, I don’t have to start from scratch. I know what to do. I don’t have expendable cash for programs such as Isagenix or Beachbody and I believe those programs are unsustainable for me. Some days I really wish I could be a shake girl, but I like to eat and crunch my calories. I’m going to do it the old fashion way of I know what I need to eat and what I need to cut back on. No more giant sandwiches filled with sharp provolone cheese and amazing Italian meats, and chips that I love (well maybe a few but not in the volume that I’ve been eating). No more wine (this got out of hand with the holidays), and less deliciously salty porks. Less wonderfully fatty grilled T-bone steaks. I am not a T-Rex. (Or Am I? Some suspect I am.)
More water, more lean proteins, more fruits and more vegetables. Eat from the earth. Got it. And I love all those things so it shouldn’t be so bad. I just can’t let myself get too hungry before meals because that’s when I binge and will eat 3rds of whatever’s being served.
Seems so simple, but I know it’s so hard. Once again, the good news is – I know my weak spots. I am really good at breakfast and lunch, but then get ravenously hungry before and while I’m cooking dinner. I know I need a plan for that time of day. I also need other dinner variations because my family really only eats meat on the bones like we’re some sort of cave people (see T Rex comment above). The kids complain that it’s not good enough when they can’t pick it up and tear meat with their teeth. I need to figure out menu items that allow me to use more fish in the dinners.
Last night I did great. We made lobster tails (with a little research I found that 4 ounces of lobster about 22 grams of protein and only 2 grams of fat and is about 120ish calories – PERFECTION). I made an avocado, cherry tomato, and red onion salad with a little balsamic vinegar. That was delicious and satisfying. Theeeeeennnnn I ate 3 Gertrude Hawk dark chocolate and caramel sea salt candies for dessert because that’s my other weakness. Baby steps, right?
My plan is to weigh myself every Friday and post here sometime over the weekend to review my progress, meal options that worked, what didnt work, and all of my hangry thoughts from the week. I’m not looking to restrict my calories very much, but I can stand to reduce what I’m currently at (which can easily be 2500 calories per day or more – I am the family garbage can because I can’t see anyone waste food – that hurts me in the feels). I will track my calorie intake and output through the my fitness pal app, which I find very easy to use. Because we are running a lot and our training really has ramped up for our 10K/half marathon challenge at the end of February, I really want to focus on improving what I put in my body so I can run on better fuel (and also lose that 10 pounds).
The one main thing I need help with is recipes for dinner, preferably low calorie options that incorporate fish and some sort of side dish that’s not brown rice. I know I need to pick up some quinoa, but I need variation and lots of it. If you have any recipes that you can share in the comments or any great websites that you know of that have dinner recipes that would be great. It’s the meal that worries me the most because after a long day I love all the comforts of sitting down with the family and eating a big meal. So if you have anything to share, please do so in the comments or post it on our Facebook page and it would be much appreciated!
Most importantly, I need to consistently remind myself of this when I have a not so great day (and I know they will come, I’m prepared for them).
Thanks for reading and please share your goals or resolutions for 2017 so I’m not the only one!
Blaze your trail,